Where was I?

An excellent question, indeed. Alas, I do not have the answer but does it really matter? I'm back. Two years, three months, and four decades later, I have returned. Perhaps in time the story of where I have been all this while, will come to me. It will be a true story, of course, just like all my stories.

So here I am, gingerly venturing forth in my size 42 shoes. Since I last went clowning, I have developed ingrown toenails, and so my clown shoes are more useful than ever. Sadly, one of them (my shoes, not my toenails) was so overwhelmed by this impulsive return to the world at large, that it fell apart.

Alas.

Also, my nose is cracked. I must find a good plastic surgeon to return me to clown perfection from my nose to my toes.

But this did not stop me from visiting the Home for the Aged on Hosur Road last weekend. It is a lovely place, run by a bunch of lovely ladies who call themselves the Little Sisters, although most of them are taller than me. They are a very large family, all girls, and they like to dress in identical dresses.

They had their Annual Fete on Sunday, October 9th, and they called me up and asked me if I'd like to come! So I went. I made loads of new friends. Little ones, from Justin and Johnson to Anto and Shirley. And big ones, from Bessie and Teresa to Drugless and Mr. Lewis. We all had a wonderful time, and I have photographic evidence of this. Well, actually I don't. But somebody does, and I'm hoping they will read this and say, "Ooh! I must send copies of these lovely photographs to Gladys immediately!"

They had a big bright band playing there too. I tried to keep up on my trusty multi-purpose banana, but sadly, it needed tuning, which is a difficult and intricate procedure that I personally am not capable of. I did ask the conductor if he could give me some music lessons on the banana, but he declined. He was quite busy.

The fete ended with a raffle, and I was so excited that I called up the winner on his mobile phone, to tell him that he had won a car! I think the news rendered him speechless and very emotional, because he listened intently and silently, and then hung up without saying a word. I assume he recovered by the time the Little Sisters called him the following day to tell him the same thing.

And then, all too soon it was over, and the bottom of my shoe fell off, and I walked home happily in the rain, with a very useful size 42 shoe sole doubling up as an umbrella, and then I fell into bed and took a four-hour nap, after which I woke up for a quick dinner and some medicines, and then had another nap till the next morning.

So there you have it, good people of Bangalooraloo! (And also the bad people, and the ugly. I love you all). I am back. But don't look for me in the hospitals, because I won't be working there any more. I'm not as young and sprightly as I was, and I can't afford to have four-hour naps every time I come home from clowning. So I'm going to take things a little slower, and shorter.

I'll let you know where and when I'll be taking these slower, shorter things, of course.

love,
Gladys.

P.S. Watch this space!

P. P. S. Don't forget to blink.