No rest for the wicked.

Or for me. You'd think, after all that excitement and work with the Clown Show, that I would have a break. But no. Now there's a Training Workshop to get ready for. You see, we're suffering from clown shortage here in Bangalore. Mamu left us in January, and now some of the French clowns have finished with their time in Bangalore and are heading back to France. Meanwhile, most of the trainees from earlier workshops have turned out to be more like magicians than clowns - they've just plum vanished into thin air! I do wish they'd left their noses behind, though. We could use a few extra noses for people who really want to be clowns.

Never mind. There's a new batch waiting to start with the workshop on April 4th, and I have lots of work lined up, preparing for all the sessions, researching and trying out ideas for exercises.

The Case of the Kidnapped Chicken.

Alas. There was one dark cloud over that strobey, multicoloured evening. My chicken went astray. He was a lovely lad, made of rubber. He was a gift that came to me all the way from San Francisco. He even had a certificate, certifying that he had been approved by the U.S. Department of Fowl Play. He had a hole at each end, and I had hoped to take him with me to hospital, when I go to visit my patients - to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and de-worming procedures. Sadly, it was not to be. Miss Rose thought it would be nice for him to make his debut at our Clown Show. Against my better judgment, I brought him along. That was the last time I saw him.

He was last seen in the hands of a little boy from the audience, who stuffed him happily into his bag, and took him home after the show. I don't know where he is now. I hope he's being treated well.

I put up signs all over the Alliance Francaise - "Lost! One Rubber Chicken. Please return to Gladys the Clown." But the world is a cruel place. And so they looked at my sign and they laughed.

Today I am a sad clown. A sad, chickenless clown.

And that's all, folks!

It got over all too soon, but not before we had our Grand Finale, stepping out to the Bee Gee's Staying Alive. Oh, it was quite an evening. Can't wait for next year!

We got boys too.

Well, just the one. Here he is, Brush-buddha, performing a wonderful rendition of 'Mummy Cool', just before Arun, our disco dancer, chased him offstage, and then HE in turn, did a very hot and sizzling version of Boney M's Daddy Cool!

A sweet surprise for Bobo.

Of course, no decent clown show goes without the old pie-in-the-face! Well, in our case it was a cake, specially baked for the occasion.

Bobo deserved a prize for winning at Musical Chairs, so we, erm, GAVE IT TO HER!

Dancing queens!

This was my favourite part of the show, when all us girl clowns found us some princesses in the audience, crowned them, and got them to dance with us! Remember I told you how I waltzed with the little princess in my arms? That's her in the orange pants!

That's not all we found.

We also found some disco dancers all the way from Bollywood! Here they are dancing to that Mithun Chakraborty classic, "I Am A Disco Dancer".

The clown hunt continued ..

and we found three more clowns! Bobo, Crazy, and Bindaas.

The banana worked!

The banana worked, yes it did! First we found Babydoll. And then, to our surprise, we found a famous French pop star, Clod Francois, lurking in the audience. He was hiding in plainsclothes, but once we got him dressed up, there was no mistaking him. So Rose, Babydoll and I decided it would be nice if we all danced together with him, and we did, to a lovely song called Alexandrie, Alexandra!

Divining for clowns.

After the introduction was over, Miss Rose and I got started with our story, which was all about how Dr Clown started with Rose and then me, and how we found all the other clowns and became the biggest and best clown troupe in India! (Well, to be honest, we're the ONLY clown troupe, so maybe that's why we're #1?)

Here you can see us searching for a new clown, using the ancient art of divination. Normally, you use a stick to divine for water. But we didn't have a stick, so we used a plastic banana instead.

The introduction.

After the Sounds Check, we had a Grand Entry of all the clowns, one by one, to one of my favourite songs, "Grease Is The Word". I've never been too sure why it's the word, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I can't know EVERYthing.

After our first dance, Crazy and Miss Rose had a chat with the crowd (well, Crazy chatted - and Miss Rose mimed) and Crazy told them all about Marcel Marceau, whose birthday it would have been on March 22nd, which is the reason why we decided to have a party for him the night before. Marcel Marceau was a great French mime, who died last year. I remember that day, because I came to the Alliance Francaise, and found that all the French clowns were dressed in black, and I found out that he had passed on.

At the show, one little boy asked me if he could get Marcel Marceau's autograph. I had to explain to him why this would be a bit difficult. He took it well, though, and a few moments later, came back and asked me for my autograph, as he could see I was very much alive. That's the first autograph I've ever given in my life! Whee!

The Sounds Check

The show started with me and Bindaas giving the audience a Sounds Check, to make sure they knew how to properly make appropriate sounds of appreciation. They were a good audience and learned fast.

I'm glad I didn't wear those red bell-bottoms, because it was Really Hot up there on stage.

Absolute chaos!

That's what it was! In other words, the kids loved it! Right from the start, they were so excited to meet us, and then during the show, we kept calling them onto the stage to dance with us. I even got to pick one little girl up and waltz with her in my arms.

We all had loads of fun, and there's lots of pictures that I want to share with you. I'm going to upload them NOW!

Time for me to get The Fever!

Our show starts in just a few hours! "Dr Clown Gets The Fever"! It's been hectic with lots of practices (I know some great disco moves now) and running around Commercial Street to find just the right costume. I've got new red shoes and a new red waistcoat and a shirt and hat that match: black with silver polka dots. Ooh I'm going to look so hot! Just like John Revolta. I even got me a pair of red bell-bottoms. Polyester! I wouldn't settle for anything less. But to be honest, they are a bit too hot to wear so I think I'm going to go with a nice baggy pair of green pantaloons that I'm quite fond of. Oh, and I've got a tie. It's silky, and it's white.

Now I must stop writing and go get some beauty sleep, so that I have lots of energy and a pretty face for this evening's show! I'll tell you all about the show next time!