The Case of the Kidnapped Chicken.

Alas. There was one dark cloud over that strobey, multicoloured evening. My chicken went astray. He was a lovely lad, made of rubber. He was a gift that came to me all the way from San Francisco. He even had a certificate, certifying that he had been approved by the U.S. Department of Fowl Play. He had a hole at each end, and I had hoped to take him with me to hospital, when I go to visit my patients - to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and de-worming procedures. Sadly, it was not to be. Miss Rose thought it would be nice for him to make his debut at our Clown Show. Against my better judgment, I brought him along. That was the last time I saw him.

He was last seen in the hands of a little boy from the audience, who stuffed him happily into his bag, and took him home after the show. I don't know where he is now. I hope he's being treated well.

I put up signs all over the Alliance Francaise - "Lost! One Rubber Chicken. Please return to Gladys the Clown." But the world is a cruel place. And so they looked at my sign and they laughed.

Today I am a sad clown. A sad, chickenless clown.

And that's all, folks!

It got over all too soon, but not before we had our Grand Finale, stepping out to the Bee Gee's Staying Alive. Oh, it was quite an evening. Can't wait for next year!

We got boys too.

Well, just the one. Here he is, Brush-buddha, performing a wonderful rendition of 'Mummy Cool', just before Arun, our disco dancer, chased him offstage, and then HE in turn, did a very hot and sizzling version of Boney M's Daddy Cool!

A sweet surprise for Bobo.

Of course, no decent clown show goes without the old pie-in-the-face! Well, in our case it was a cake, specially baked for the occasion.

Bobo deserved a prize for winning at Musical Chairs, so we, erm, GAVE IT TO HER!

Dancing queens!

This was my favourite part of the show, when all us girl clowns found us some princesses in the audience, crowned them, and got them to dance with us! Remember I told you how I waltzed with the little princess in my arms? That's her in the orange pants!

That's not all we found.

We also found some disco dancers all the way from Bollywood! Here they are dancing to that Mithun Chakraborty classic, "I Am A Disco Dancer".

The clown hunt continued ..

and we found three more clowns! Bobo, Crazy, and Bindaas.

The banana worked!

The banana worked, yes it did! First we found Babydoll. And then, to our surprise, we found a famous French pop star, Clod Francois, lurking in the audience. He was hiding in plainsclothes, but once we got him dressed up, there was no mistaking him. So Rose, Babydoll and I decided it would be nice if we all danced together with him, and we did, to a lovely song called Alexandrie, Alexandra!

Divining for clowns.

After the introduction was over, Miss Rose and I got started with our story, which was all about how Dr Clown started with Rose and then me, and how we found all the other clowns and became the biggest and best clown troupe in India! (Well, to be honest, we're the ONLY clown troupe, so maybe that's why we're #1?)

Here you can see us searching for a new clown, using the ancient art of divination. Normally, you use a stick to divine for water. But we didn't have a stick, so we used a plastic banana instead.

The introduction.

After the Sounds Check, we had a Grand Entry of all the clowns, one by one, to one of my favourite songs, "Grease Is The Word". I've never been too sure why it's the word, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I can't know EVERYthing.

After our first dance, Crazy and Miss Rose had a chat with the crowd (well, Crazy chatted - and Miss Rose mimed) and Crazy told them all about Marcel Marceau, whose birthday it would have been on March 22nd, which is the reason why we decided to have a party for him the night before. Marcel Marceau was a great French mime, who died last year. I remember that day, because I came to the Alliance Francaise, and found that all the French clowns were dressed in black, and I found out that he had passed on.

At the show, one little boy asked me if he could get Marcel Marceau's autograph. I had to explain to him why this would be a bit difficult. He took it well, though, and a few moments later, came back and asked me for my autograph, as he could see I was very much alive. That's the first autograph I've ever given in my life! Whee!

The Sounds Check

The show started with me and Bindaas giving the audience a Sounds Check, to make sure they knew how to properly make appropriate sounds of appreciation. They were a good audience and learned fast.

I'm glad I didn't wear those red bell-bottoms, because it was Really Hot up there on stage.

Absolute chaos!

That's what it was! In other words, the kids loved it! Right from the start, they were so excited to meet us, and then during the show, we kept calling them onto the stage to dance with us. I even got to pick one little girl up and waltz with her in my arms.

We all had loads of fun, and there's lots of pictures that I want to share with you. I'm going to upload them NOW!

Time for me to get The Fever!

Our show starts in just a few hours! "Dr Clown Gets The Fever"! It's been hectic with lots of practices (I know some great disco moves now) and running around Commercial Street to find just the right costume. I've got new red shoes and a new red waistcoat and a shirt and hat that match: black with silver polka dots. Ooh I'm going to look so hot! Just like John Revolta. I even got me a pair of red bell-bottoms. Polyester! I wouldn't settle for anything less. But to be honest, they are a bit too hot to wear so I think I'm going to go with a nice baggy pair of green pantaloons that I'm quite fond of. Oh, and I've got a tie. It's silky, and it's white.

Now I must stop writing and go get some beauty sleep, so that I have lots of energy and a pretty face for this evening's show! I'll tell you all about the show next time!

Busy, busy, busy.

That's what I've been. I'm going to be running Dr Clown and there's so much to do. Right now we're trying to get ready for our next Clown Show. I've written a script and it's all about clowns getting the disco fever. There's going to be lots of songs from the 1970s. That was a good time. So I'm hoping our show will also be a good time.

Meanwhile there's rehearsals, sound and light to organise, costumes to get, dances to practise, press releases to write .. ooh, lots of work but it's all fun too.

I'm on Facebook!

Whoopee! Apart from having my very own blog, I now also have my very own Facebook profile! It's most thrilling. If you're on Facebook, you can add me as a friend; my profile name is "Gladys Tonsils". See you there!

NEWS: Clowning Around - India Today

Gosh! Another article this month, this time in India Today's "Simply Bangalore" magazine, written by Ashwin Venkatesh.

It's exciting, it's like everyone's waking up and discovering that we're here. I hope there are more clowns out there who read these articles and then make their way over to find us! It would be lovely to meet more clowns. I'm sure they're out there somewhere..

NEWS: The Serious Business of Clowning - Deccan Herald

Yes, it really does take a lot of serious work to be seriously funny. Here's an article from Bangalore's Deccan Herald newspaper, all about it! Of course the DH has gone and got totally confused and actually captioned the picture wrong. Nazu and Severine indeed! That's clearly a picture of Glad and Miss Rose.

Glad, you ask? Short for Gladys? No, not at all. That's my twin brother, Glad. He visits us infrequently, being quite a shy soft-spoken boy. In fact, he only seems to find his voice when I lose mine. (Refer my history with pharyngitis for more details).

NEWS: Clown Workshop - Time Out magazine

Look, it's me! I really like this picture. It wasn't hard to gaze adoringly into the camera, because behind it was a nice muscly young fella called Ashwin.

This article was written by a nice non-muscly girl called Akila. Well, maybe she had muscles, I don't know. I was too busy looking at the photographer's muscles to notice. But I do like the way she wrote this article. And I like this magazine, too. They're always writing about interesting things happening in Bangalore,and I'm so pleased they think we're interesting!

Return of the living clown!

I am back from holiday! I took myself off to London, and went to visit an old friend of mine. I just got back this morning, in time to start clowning.

It was a lot like old times - me and Mamu at St. Philomena's. Mamu's been going regularly and has added lots to his repertoire - magic tricks, new dances and jokes - and he can even rattle along quite admirably in Tamil now! I’m impressed.

As for me, I’ve had a makeover! I’ve decided less is more, when it comes to make-up, and also, I’m working on a new wardrobe, too. Can’t wait.

Going on a manhunt.

I have a thing for older men, you see. So naturally, I was looking forward to meeting some eligible octogenarians this evening. All dressed up and someplace to go - the place in question being The Little Sisters' of the Poor Home for the Aged. It was party time! Birthday party, with cake, candles and prezzies, and eighteen residents seated up front as guests of honour - these were the people whose birthdays come up this month. There was also one lady, Marjorie, 95, celebrating her 25th year at the Home!

Put-put, Bindas and I were just in time for the birthday song and cake-cutting. I wasted not much time getting acquainted with the gentlemen, who were, oddly enough, quite shy. Mr. Gorman's knees weren't up to dancing (so he said). Mr Watt and Mr. Gomes did have a lovely chat with me but remained firmly seated. I think they were all playing hard-to-get. Mr. Selvaraj was busy with a nap, though he did wake up later to graciously receive my farewell rose. Still, one courageous chap Raymond did get up and waltz a bit with me. Made my day. I think he must have been quite a dancer in his day, because he actually managed to follow some of my more complex dance moves.

Put-put meanwhile decided to pull up the ladies for some dancing (they seemed a bit more energetic) and even found a Dancing Queen! (You think I’m kidding, don’t you? But her name really is Queenie). Bindas, who's just finished the Dr Clown workshop and is still in training, was a bit shy. But she has connections. She brought Spiderman AND Batman with her. They were a lot shorter than I expected - they could have passed for 6-year-olds. Odd, that.

Well, the fun went on through cake and tea-time, and we got to introduce ourselves to well over a hundred people. And looking after all these lovely ladies and gallant gentlemen was a huge family of SISTERS. It was quite remarkable, I thought, and very sweet that they all liked to dress in identical clothes. And looking after all the sisters was a mummy. None of the sisters looked very French, but they all called their mummy "Ma Mere" .. and mummy spoke with an American accent. Hmm.

In addition to all these, was a gaggle of highly excitable, giggly and occasionally hysterical girls. Apparently these creatures are known as The Pestilence.

Bubbles, music, song, dance, and much laughter. And then, too soon, it was over. Alas, the gentlemen quickly made their escape while I was distracted by yet another pair of sisters - Isabel and Noreen Russell - who WEREN'T dressed in identical clothes. A last dose of bubbles got Isabel a-singing "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles" accompanied by my beautiful rendition on the melodica. I promised her I’d practise more songs and come back soon for a sing-along.

It was sad to leave, but we meet to part - and meet again, and there were lots of smiling, laughing faces waving back at me as we drove away. I hope I get to go back soon. I really liked it there.