I miss clowning.

I'm sick. I can't go to work at hospital. I can't go anywhere. Last week no one went to St Philomena's, half our clowns were out of town, and the others weren't well. Oh dear. Fortunately Bindaas and Brush-buddha are going there tomorrow, and they're taking one of our trainees Leanne on her first observation session!

Things are going slow indeed, but at least they're going. And once we finish all our trainees' practice sessions, they can start clowning with the rest of us. I hope everything picks up soon!

Kung fu, cockroaches and a little bit of clown magic.

Yes, business as usual .. another delightful day at hospital yesterday for Babydoll and me. We did bump into the Danger Lady of Cleaning, but we managed to chase her off with bubbles (she doesn't like them, for some reason, which is rather ironic, don't you think, since she walks around with a bucket of soapy water?) and we also went prepared with my newest artillery: two large rubbery swords. She did try to steal them, but fortunately the bubbles kept her at bay.

Strategic idiocy. That's what hospital clowning's all about, I think. And it does work wonders. Today, a brief lesson in kung fu was followed by a session of kallaripattu (those bendy swords really worked well for this). I figured people would work up an appetite after that, but for some reason, every time I try to serve up a nice dish of fried cockroach, everyone I offer it to seems to be a vegetarian.

The very best part of today, though, was right at the end when we were getting ready to leave. That's when we did the magic. No, we didn't pull a rabbit out of a hat. There was a mother who lifted her baby up and I think jostled his drip a little, so he started wailing. And I already had my flute in hand, so I went up and played softly for him, and Babydoll sang too. And guess what, he just stopped crying and went back to sleep!

It was just like magic and everyone looked most impressed. Then we blew kisses to everyone and whispered goodbyes and tiptoed out of the ward.

Video: Grease was the word.

Well I've been busy posting this video on all our Dr Clown sites - our blog, our Youtube account "drclownindia", our mailing lists, and finally I'm done, so now I can post it here too, in case you missed it! This is from our Clown show that we held in March this year. It was the opening number to our show, which was all about us clowns getting Saturday night fever.

Allow me to introduce everyone, cos we're not dressed in our usual clown clothes, we all got special party wear for the show.

Miss Rose is the lady in the silver dress and the blonde afro. Baby Doll is in pigtails and a pink dress. Crazy has a top hat. Bindaas wore harem pants and a sparkly waistcoat but of course also her trademark gypsy scarf. Bobo was in real clown couture, she had her bell-bot jumpsuit specially tailored for the occasion. Brushbuddha was the rocker with the green hair. And I tried to look like John Revolta so I wore a waistcoat and a tie.

It's a bit crazy and chaotic but that's how we are. We had a lot of fun and so did all the children!

Her name is Bhavani and she is a very naughty lady.

Yes. She was there again today. The cleaning lady in the blue sari. I kept calling her Lakshmi Amma until she finally confessed that her name is actually BHAVANI. I sang a special song for her then - "hey javaani, hey Bhavani! Ruk, meri raani! Ruk, Miss Bhavani!" But this did not stop her from stealing my banana. Yes. She is a naughty lady because she keeps picking my pockets! And she stole my banana! But I managed to steal it back. I don't mind her stealing things so much because she always gives them back. But then I can't use those things with the children because of our hygiene rules. And my plastic banana is one of my most valuable pieces of equipment. Sometimes it is my cell phone. Sometimes it is a microphone (in fact, today it was, when I sang a Tamil duet with Arun. We only managed to sing two words, "Appadi, poday, poday, poday!" because we didn't know the rest of the song, so to make up for the lack of words, we just sang those two words about a zillion times.)

Sometimes my banana is a gun and I use it to keep Lakshmi Amma, a.k.a. Bhavani, at bay. Fortunately she did not chase me with her mop today. But she made me mop two flagstones. I think I did a good job. I am getting better at it. I'm lucky to get free mop training from her. Soon I will be quite the expert. I think next time I will get myself a tiny little trainee mop. I've seen one in Dr Tonsils' house. But for some strange reason he uses it to spread oil on frying pans when he's making dosas. (Those are like Indian pancakes by the way).

Oh and there were lots of children today. Big ones too for a change. There was a boy Riyaz who was so tall he couldn't stand up or he'd give himself a free haircut from the fan. There was also a very long boy. Well his name was long it was Abijeetchakravorty. And there were some tiny little girls Pushpa and Amreen and there were even some bigger girls. Priyanka was there looking very sleepy but inspite of that she was very enthusiastic and so I designated her as my official Lakshmi Amma Lookout.

Usually a lot of the children are little toddlers but today they were mostly schoolchildren, bunking class to be in hospital and see the clowns! Bindaas and I had a lot of fun with them all. And we took Boing with us, on his observation session. He enjoyed it too and can't wait for his next session which is a practice session and then after that he can start clowning with us which will be very nice. We haven't had enough clowns to visit all our hospitals so once our apprentice clowns start clowning, we can go back and spread more sunshine in more places!

The only sad thing was that since I had recently had a snifferly nose, I decided it was better not to go into the ICU. And there were lots of children there. This is why I always tell people not to hug and kiss me, especially if they might have a cough or a cold. But people don't listen. They just want a hug from me and they don't think about the children. That's not right. Because then I can't go to the children. I feel very bad about that and the next person who hugs me with a cold is going to get a bonk on the head, that's what. I'm not usually into violence, but sometimes a clown's gotta do what a clown's gotta do.

And now I am very tired and waiting for my broccoli to finish steaming cos I need the nutrition. I don't know why but I get very very tired every time I go clowning. I think I need to lose some weight or grow younger. But I think I will have my energy back by next week just in time to go clowning again.

Oh, my brocolli's ready. Good bye.

I just like this picture so much.

Look I found another picture taken by that muscly man from Time Out Bangalooraloo. It's an old picture but I do love it.

Another hot and sweaty day.

This time it wasn't at the marathon, it was at hospital. I had these hot flushes all the way through. I hope it's not the menopause. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, hospital. Babydoll and I went to St. Philomena's, and our new friend The Clown With No Name came with us on a training session.

We didn't see many children today, but there were an awful lot of newborn babies and new mummies. I have analysed this since, and come to the conclusion that many people felt a need for closeness and intimacy after the Bombay terrorist attacks. And hence: lots of babies nine months later.

After we finished clowning with the children, The Clown With No Name waited for us outside, while Babydoll and I went into the maternity wards. We saw lots of lovely newly made babies and had tons of fun with the mummies. None of them were Egyptian. Babydoll had two new baby dolls of her own, so we had a little twin delivery and some tortuous breastfeeding, and I even got to do the circumcisions on her little twins. The mummies were quite delighted by all this, because I think they really related to it all!

We also bumped into the monster cleaning lady who loves us and hates us at the same time. She's always shouting at us in Tamil, telling us to get out and let her mop the floors, but then she really enjoys playing with us too. We mopped some of the floor for her till she chased us away. Babydoll jumped up on a chair and trembled with fear! I tried to escape by flying on the mop which had a very long wooden handle and looked a bit like a Hogwarts broom. However, I clearly do not have the knack for flying, so it didn't work. But we did manage to get away. After a while, she missed us, and came by to chase us some more and play games with us. I think she had a lovely day because we're probably the only people she can shout at and order around, and she got to be the star of the show. I can't wait to see her again next week.

So it was lovely as always but there was one sad thing I found out afterwards, that Babydoll met a lady out in the corridor, who had had a baby, but the baby died. That is a sad thing, indeed, and difficult even for a clown to face. It's easy to make people laugh and smile, but sometimes that's not our job. Sometimes the most important thing for us to do, is just to be there with someone and share their pain a little. I wish I had known, I would have gone to meet that lady. Next time I should keep my eyes and ears and heart more open so that I don't miss important things like this.

NEWS: I know not what it says - Eenadu

Here's a lovely article about me. I'm pretty sure it's a lovely article because the gentleman who wrote it was very nice. I have no idea what it says, though, because I cannot read the Telugu language. If you know what it says, please tell me!

My friend Rhea suggested that the top bit looks like a Before and After ad. I hope not. It could be an ad for a miraculous cure for poor eyesight. People would believe it because they would think that the person in the Before picture couldn't see properly to put her lipstick on.

But I don't think that's what it says.

This article is in a daily newspaper called Eenadu, it's the largest newspaper in Andhra Pradesh (that's the next door state to Karnataka. In case you're wondering what Karnataka is, that's the state of which Bangalore is the capital.)

NEWS: Run The Talk - Tulir Blog

My friends over at Tulir, the Centre for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse, wrote a little something about me on their blog. It was them I was supposed to run for at the marathon, but by the time I finished with all the costume stuff and media people, the race was over :o( But never mind, because I went one round of the Kanteerva Stadium track, so I can say I did my bit of walking (I even tried running a few steps but then the clown shoes proved a problem!)

Paddy's pictures from the marathon

Here are two pictures my new friend Paddy took of me, over at the marathon last month!

By the way, if you want to copy these pix, please make sure you include the copyright ribbon at the bottom of the picture!

NEWS: Something to do with blessings and life - Eenadu

Mr. Adinarayana is a man of good taste. He likes clowns. Not only has he written this article about our Red Nose Ceremony, and filled it with lovely pictures of us, too! So many! But he's also writing another article about me, to go in the women's section of his newspaper.

I'm not exactly sure what the headline is but I know that it includes the words 'blessings' and 'life'. If you know what this article says, please tell me. It's written in Telugu, and is in the Eenadu newspaper.

Happy Nose Day!

Today we had our first Red Nose Ceremony! That's like a graduation party for our new clowns. I thought it would be more fun to have a special ceremony to celebrate the nosing of our new clowns. So we had speeches and clapping and certificates and cake. It was a lovely morning.

This is a picture of the lovely pineapple cake we had at our ceremony, and those are our new graduates cutting the cake.

And here are our new clowns. This is Bobette,

trying to get used to her new nose.

Next, here's Boing! More hair than face in this picture but he's in there somewhere! And that's King Joseph next to him. King Joseph is my very good friend and also the Technical Coordinator of the Alliance Francaise, where we work from. And behind King Joseph is a lovely No Smoking sign.
This chappie here is The Clown With No Name. He's hoping that one of these days he will find it, and intends to search all the hospital wards very thoroughly in case it's lying around there somewhere. And last, but definitely not least, is our baby-est clown, Fae! She's very sprinkly and glittery and I think she has flown down from Fairyland.

Yay! Four more clown hearts in the world.

NEWS: Fun Run with Cowboys and Clowns - Times of India

I'm feeling so touched reading what people have been writing about me. I feel so LOVED and that's a very nice feeling to feel. I hope when I go out clowning I'm getting other people to feel it too. The world needs more good feelings doesn't it?

Look in that picture, it's my friend the brave condom lady! In one of the articles I was reading, somebody said they were used condoms. Oh my! That's not true. I know because I asked her, and because they had a nice fresh rubbery smell, with a light bouquet of medicine.

Something borrowed, something orange!

Here are some pictures I've borrowed off my friend's blog, his name is Shujath Ulla Khan and if you want to see more marathon pictures just go to his blog. He won Sakkath Bangalorean #3. These are some pictures with me in them. I don't know who took them, but I guess it was a friend of his (thank you whoever you are):

In case you're wondering what I'm doing there, I was fanning him with my hat. It was a very hot day.

Here we are getting our giant cheques. I felt just like Man of The Match.

Mr Techie got some lovely pictures of us at the marathon!

Hello again! I just found one of my friends from yesterday's marathon, right here on blogspot. He has written some nice stuff and put up some lovely pictures of him and me and also the condom lady who came first! The three of us were the Sakkat Bangaloreans! I get happy memories when I look at these pictures! Wheee!

I was on TV last night!

Look! There I am! It was very nice to see myself from the outside!


I don't have the actual TV footage (from a station called TV 9) but here are some photographs we took of the TV set, while the footage was playing!

The first picture is of me just after I got my gigantic cheque, unfortunately I did not take a picture of when I was getting my bouquet and then my hat fell off. A little later in the programme, I popped up again, this time they were interviewing me.

NEWS: Bangaloreans Run For A Cause - Deccan Herald

Here's an article about the marathon, by someone from the Deccan Herald, and he wrote a bit about me! I remember this gentleman asking me how old I was! I told him that he shouldn't ask ladies their age. But he said that he was from the PRESS and that's why he had to press on to get this vital information from me. By the way, I'm only a TEENY bit older than Shah Rukh Khan.

I went. I ran (okay I walked). I won!

Yes! I did! I really did win at the marathon! Second prize! I won just for being me! I arrived early in the morning at the almost unspeakable hour of (six). I did a lot of walking. That was before the marathon even began. Then this lady told me to walk some more to a different gate where all the costumed people were. So I did. And I took part in a costume competition, and guess what? I came second! Isn't it lovely?

And I got to meet so many interesting people. A condom lady, a devil lady, a one-eyed techie, a pirate, an anti-pirate, some trees, lots of animals and I even met a peacock man! It was all very hot and sweaty but it was tons of fun and I think I've lost some weight. I also got to meet lots of very sweet children! Like the beautiful princess Malaika, and a monk called Siddharth. Even though he had lost his Ferrari, he just beamed out the most wonderful smile I've ever seen. And this sweet little baby who didn't like all the noise, but fortunately I had some cotton wool in my make-up kit in my handbag, so I gave some to his daddy, and he put it in the baby's ears and after that he was fine.

After that costume competition I got a big giant cheque for twenty thousand rupees only, and it says I am offically now Sakkat Bangalorean Number Two. (That means I came second. It doesn't mean the other Number Two). And Sakkat Bangalorean means I am a really strong Bangalooraloo person. I feel proud that people said that about me. It makes me feel nice inside.

And I got to stand on a podium and got the big giant cheque and a bunch of flowers (carnations, my dear! They're in a vase in the sitting room now!) from a handsome young man whose phone number I forgot to take. I don't know what to do with the money. I think I will buy presents for my favourite people, and some money for my friends who Dream A Dream because it's very important to dream dreams and never give up on them, and some for a nice running track for a little twelve year old girl who can do the 100 metres in just 14 seconds, barefoot! And also I will buy a microwave oven, which is a present for me, because I am also one of my favourite people.

After that, lots of people with cameras and microphones wanted to take my picture and ask me questions, so I told them all about Dr Clown and also about Child Sexual Abuse because I was in the marathon to support Tulir, an NGO that has a Centre for Prevention and Healing of Child Sexual Abuse. I like Tulir a lot because they do so much to help children, and I don't like child abuse at all. It just doesn't make sense, does it? But it happens. So I think it's important to try and help in any way so that it can stop happening and then children can just grow up nicely and not have those pains and fears and sadnesses and then they'd grow up and be sad or angry grownups. It's very difficult to be a sad and angry grownup, and not be able to enjoy so many of the nice things of life and my goodness it's so unnecessary if we just looked after the children nicely so they didn't have to grow up that way! So I supported Tulir and told everyone about them.

It was really nice to see so many people there supporting so many different causes. It wasn't just nice, it was wonderful. That Kanteerva Stadium was just buzzing with good vibrations, all those people full of positive vibes, everyone doing something about something, to make the world a better place. That's what it's all about, I think. I hope we keep doing it. That way if we get reborn then we'll come back to a really nice world. That would be fun. Well .. actually it already is a really nice world. I just want it to get nicer and nicer, so that every generation can have fun stuff and happy memories.

Oh. It's really thundery outside. Long-playing thunder that just goes on and on, and it's raining a lot too. I wonder if the peacock man is dancing. He said something about liking to dance in the rain. Or maybe it was before the rain. I forget. Whatever. I hope he's dancing. It's good for the soul, dancing is.

It's been such a happy day for me. The most exciting part was when the ladies came running back into the stadium at the end of their 10K run. You could feel the stadium getting excited and I got excited too and wanted to run behind them (but I couldn't because I was in a different place). And another nice part of today was that there was so many people happy to see me. I felt like a movie star, cos they all wanted to take pictures with me, and they were all smiling and laughing. Just think, now there's hundreds of people tonight in Bangalooraloo, with pictures of me smiling at them on their mobile phones. I'm glad they get to keep my smile.

Oh there's the thunder again. It's a bit scary. I think I better stop writing because the electric city may go off. But before I end I just have to say OH GUESS WHAT I saw myself on TV tonight after dinner. It's the first time I saw myself from outside of myself. I got to see what everyone else sees when they look at Gladys. I just realised I'm a very funny old lady. I like me.

So that's all for now. Before the next thundery thunder starts, I'm off to bed. Good night!

NEWS: Many Smiles Per Hour - Time Out magazine

Lookie! Another article about the seminar, this time in Time Out Bengaluru, written by Amrita Gupta. This is a nice magazine that has lots of news about all the fun things going on in Bangalooraloo, if it wasn't for them I'd have no idea what to do with myself. It comes out every fortnight and for some reason, most of the people who work there have names starting with "A". But that's not to say they're prejudiced against the rest of the alphabet because I know for a fact they also have a "J". I think maybe people whose names start with "A" have to be very attentive and early to school so that they can say "present" when the teacher calls out the attendance register. And this has a tremendous impact on them, so they grow up to be journalists.

I'm not sure I was very good.

Well, I went to Sutradhar's seminar on Play In Hospital, today. I went with my friend Mili from Dr Clown, and we introduced our work to all the people there. There was another lady who does play therapy in Pune, her name is Meera Okay! She was definitely more than just okay, she's done a lot of work and has an organisation called CHUGRAD! And she had a very impressive presentation on the computer and was very organised. Not like me. I'm not sure I was very good but I talked a lot about whatever I could remember about our work, and so I hope that some of what I said made sense. Everyone seemed happy enough, though.

It was really nice to see that there are different people doing different things in different places - but all to the same end - to make children in hospital feel better. It was good to meet them all. I also got to meet a fellow clown, Pravin, who lives in Bombay! That was good luck! He had come down to Bangalooraloo for someone's wedding and when I told him about the seminar, he jumped into an auto rickshaw and came to it! Wasn't that sweet? It was nice to meet him. He does magic too, and he did some for Mili and me! I was very impressed!

My favourite part of the evening was at the end when they gave me a present! It was something they make themselves, the Sutradhar people. They have lots of lovely stuff - games and toys and books, and lots of different puppets, yum, you can see them and even buy them, if you click on the link. Anyway, my present was a puppet! A little Indian maharajah puppet. I can't wait to take him to hospital with me.

NEWS: Bringing Joy to Young Sufferers - DNA India

Here's an article about the seminar I'm attending this weekend. It's written by a very brave young lady who actually called me up and spoke to me, in spite of her terrible fear of clowns!

Sutradhar is the organisation that runs this Annual Seminar - aptly titled, because they hold it every year. This year, their theme is Play in Hospitals, so they've invited a play therapist to talk, and also invited me!

This is lovely: The Great Panjandrum

Ooh I just found the most beautiful poetic poem. It's very deep and meaningful and as I am a deep and meaningful clown myself, I am posting it here for you to read. What is very interesting is that this was written by Samuel, a boy who wrote this with his FOOT! (Or "FOOTE" as they used to spell it back in 1755).


So she went into the garden
to cut a cabbage-leaf
to make an apple-pie;
and at the same time
a great she-bear, coming down the street,
pops its head into the shop.
What! no soap?
So he died,
and she very imprudently married the Barber:
and there were present
the Picninnies,
and the Joblillies,
and the Garyulies,
and the great Panjandrum himself,
with the little round button at top;
and they all fell to playing the game of catch-as-catch-can,
till the gunpowder ran out at the heels of their boots.

- by Samuel (Foote)

I'm glad you like it. (I knew you would even before you read it, so that's why I'm saying this in advance).

That's all for today. I've been doing lots of reading, all about the history of clowning and the different types of clowns, but now I'm sleepy, so I'll tell you about that another time. Good night.
P.S. I cannot write with my foot. I have tried. Left and right. Doesn't work for me.

Time Out magazine wrote this about the circus, and there's pictures too.

Slogan Murugan is a man with an interesting eye, he catches all sorts of intriguing images from around Bangalore and posts them on his blog. You should visit him!

Meanwhile, he visited me, and he gave me the link to a little article about the circus I visited last week. So I'm posting it here for you all to read, in case you missed it. It was in last week's Time Out Bengaluru, which is my favourite magazine here even though they spell Bangalooraloo wrong.

I love the circus BUT...

I love the circus BUT ...

I don't like to see a ring without a ringmaster.

I don't like to see lady circus performers dressed like they're not.

I don't like to see people crunching on lightbulbs or running fire all over their bodies or dropping knives on their tummies, or lying on glass and nails, because the children might go home and copy them.

I don't like to see an act where people pretend to be drunk and get the audience to laugh, because that tells the children that drinking is fun or funny, and it's not, it's just sad.

I don't like to see sad expressions in elephants' eyes, or what looks like tears running down a horse's eyes, because I can't speak Elephant or Horse, so I don't know how to say Sorry. I don't like to see mahouts poking elephants with proddy things, or people with whips, because I think working with gentleness and earning trust works much better.

I don't like to see clowns hitting each other, because real humour doesn't need violence. I don't like to see audiences who laugh at clowns hitting each other, because real humanity doesn't need violence to feel good.

I don't like to see young ladies swirling in the air, hanging from their teeth. I don't like to see people doing pretty things high up in the air but not having a safety net or proper safety harness, just a wire or a rope tied to their waist. I don't like to see death-defying acts that really are death-defying acts, because it tells me that not everyone in the world believes in the value of life.

I don't like to see audiences come out smiling and laughing without noticing that the circus people don't do as much smiling and laughing.

I love the circus BUT I don't think the circus loves itself.

An artistic rendition.

In India, you can't take pictures inside the circus tents. So I drew my own picture to show you what it was like. While I was drawing and colouring I remembered more things I forgot to mention in my first post. Like the Man of Many Waistcoats, who stood on top of a galloping horse and kept taking off his clothes as he went round. He had many many waistcoats and fortunately he finished going around before he could start taking off anything else.

There was also a pretty ribbony girl who did wavy things with ribbons and lassoos. There was another girl who finished the show up in the air inside a ring thing and she did acrobatics there (and guess what it was the same Titanic song that they had in Jumbo Circus. The circus people obviously like this song very much). And then there was the water-spitter who swallowed some coloured water red and dark green and then drank a whole jugful of regular water, and then did this long-distance spitting and sometimes it was orange and sometimes it was light green. I don't think it was a trick. I think he is an expert of regurgitation or something.

Well there you go. Now you know what the circus looks like. Tomorrow is the last day they are in Yelahanka but if you wait a few days they are moving to somewhere in JP Nagar. And you can go see them there. Please be a good audience and clap loudly and often. It makes them smile more.

P.S. You must click on the picture if you want to see the fine details in a bigger size.

Back from the circus!

Yes! Hot and sweaty and belching samosas. It was a lovely day. I got to meet three clowns: their names are Khayoom, Suraj and Nissar. Khayoon is Suraj's Daddy and guess what, Suraj gets to give his daddy a great fat slap on the face during their act. But Khayoom gets to spank him a lot too, so I guess it's even.

It was really hot in the circus and all the snacks were priced DOUBLE! Gosh. But I had to eat them, so I had to buy them anyway. I went with a little pixie friend of mine and the Mirinda turned our teeth orange for a while. That was interesting. If I had my wig on, my teeth would have matched it!

There were lots of interesting acts. A lot of them were similar to the Jumbo Circus that I saw last year. I think some things are standard in all the circuses - like the men going around in circles on motorbikes inside a dome, and elephants doing puja, and even Russian ladies with nice bums. Yes. These things are all a must at a circus, I believe.

There was a Russian juggler there, he was nice and he had a lovely jester's hat I'm so jealous. He also did some horrible things with fire and eating a lightbulb and lying on glass. I didn't like that so much, I don't like the dangerous things at circuses, I get scared. I like the things that make me laugh or go Ooh!

Ooh! There was a group of big strapping Kenyan gentlemen with wonderful muscles and six-packs. They did all sorts of tumbling and balancing and climbing thingies. They were good too.

I didn't like seeing the animals much though. They weren't ill-treated or anything like that, they all looked fine and healthy, but they just didn't seem to be having much fun and when I looked into the elephants' and horse's eyes, they looked back and I felt sad.

Anyway guess what? I am going back to the circus soon! I am going to hold a small workshop for the clowns! I'm so excited so so excited. I may not get to perform in the ring (ooh I wish they would let me!) but maybe I can have my workshop in the ring. But they said I must come at 8 o'clock in the morning, oh dear, I'll have to sacrifice my cutie sleep.

Okay, so now I'm off to think of lovely ideas for my workshop and best of all, I now have an excuse to go back for more shopping at Chikpet so that I can buy the clowns some nice presents! It's going to be so much FUN!!!!! I can't wait.

P.S. Sorry I don't have any pictures cos you can't take pictures during the circus. I wish I could, cos they would have been such LOVELY pictures. Oh well. Maybe I'll draw something for you instead.

There's a circus in town!

Unfortunately, it's not in this town, it's in some place called Yelahanka New Town. I have no idea how to get there, but I will. It's called the Rajmahal African Circus and tomorrow morning I'm going to meet the clowns! I'm so excited. And then after I meet them, I might drink a Coca-Cola or something cos it's probably going to be very hot and I wouldn't like to get dehydrated, and then at 1 p.m. the circus show starts and I'm going to watch it. Then I'm going to go home very hungry and have a late lunch. Unless I pack myself some tomato sandwiches or something.

I can't wait to meet the clowns. Last year I met the clowns from another circus, Jumbo Russian Circus. One day I am going to meet all the clowns of all the circuses in India. Yes.

Ooh la la.

I finally got to wear my new high fashion clown dress. It is truly beautiful and most comfortable too. AND I also got to wear one of my new wigs. I think I looked extra special today at St Philomena's hospital because I got a lot of LOOKS if you know what I mean. But I'm not that type of girl. I just focussed on my work and did lots of good clowning with my friend Brush-Buddha. It was a really busy day because there were lots of children and also lots of parents. There were also lots of student nurses with mysterious signs hanging around their necks "I will speak only in English". I tried to tempt them into talking in other languages but they could not be swayed. They said that would be against their principal, who is the person who put the signs around their necks in the first place.

My new dress has very deep pockets. And they're deep pink too. And I can put a flute in them, and the flute doesn't stick out the top. That's how deep they are.

I took some pictures tonight but I had to stand in front of a mirror to get a full-length shot, so that you can see my beautiful new dress.

Clown shopping.

I have been so very busy. Busy busy busy. I been training clowns for Dr. Clown! That's why I hardly get any time to write in my blog. But today I managed to get some time to myself and I went to a most magical and dirty place called Chikpet. It was WONDERFUL. I had to walk through some sewage and dodge a lot of men with huge bundles on their heads, but it was worth it.

I had to go past Chikpet to a place called Mamulpet. From there, I was told to go to another place called Kumbarpet. Down dirty little lanes filled with magical shops oh it was almost like being on Diagon Alley except there were no owls and it was only the shops that were magical, I'm pretty sure most of the people there were Muggles.

Anyway finally I found it! I had to go up a tiny flight of stairs and there it was, this thrilling little room filled with wigs and costumes and hats and feathers and walking sticks and masks and make-up and shields and helmets and oh all sorts of things. It was a most theatrical shop and I had a wonderful time there and made friends with the people there and they even gave me a cup of tea and didn't get upset when I tried on all the wigs.

I bought 4 wigs. I bought a lot of funny noses and a thing that makes you look as if you have a pencil stuck in your head. And I bought make-up nice pancake WHITE makeup! I think that's all. Oh I bought a walking stick.

I can't wait to go back and get some more wigs but once again I'm busy busy busy and so I have to wait.

Clown laundry.

Oh I am a good clean clown I am.

I am a clown geek!

Yes. I am a computer wizard. I would rather be a real wizard but I haven't received my Hogwarts letter yet. I don't know what's keeping that owl. Fortunately I'm still seven years old and expect to be seven for a few more hundred years at least. So I won't be the oldest kid in the class when I finally do get there.

Oh, that reminds me! This post is about something else. I forgot! I got distracted by Hogwarts. Today I made a new e-group! It's for people who want to know what's happening at Dr Clown, where I work. So whenever we clowns have a show or a workshop, I can post the information there, and everyone who's on the group will get the news. I'm so efficient! AND I even added a special box here on the blog, so that anyone who wants to join that group can just sign up ever so easily. I'm feeling very clever because I had to cut and paste html code to do it. One day maybe I'll be an even better geek and write my own html code. But probably not, because I'm too busy being a clown.

I also made a new email address, specially for Dr Clown. It's called drclown@ymail.cm. But I keep forgetting to use it.

Please join my group! It's at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/clowNews. You can click on this, or you can click on the posh box on the left side of this screen. That's more fun, I think. Do that.

NEWS: The Healing Clown - The Hindu

Here's something from The Hindu newspaper's children's supplement, Young World.




By the way, we don't actually pick up the children in our arms because we're not supposed to do that. Also, the children never expect us, we're always a surprise! That's my favourite part. Except sometimes, we're more of a shock than a surprise .. once in a while a little toddler gets a bit scared when they first see us. But those are the ones who usually end up following us all around the wards.

Dipping my toe into the ocean of high fashion.

Yes, today my big toe, accompanied by force of habit by the other nine, stepped into the world of high fashion. Of course I already have many lovely clothes, but they're all ready-made, and tend to be thick and cosy. I think it would be hard to leap about skinnamarinking in them.

You see, summer is upon us, and quite heavily. So I decided to consult a young princess of luxury fashion, to find out which types of fabric are best for clowns, and how best to use them, and also how many metres I would need to buy (because apparently in the fabric shops, they always recommend more than you need).

Tomorrow I'm off to Commercial Street, and we are going to spend the morning looking at lovely fabric (hopefully not just looking, but buying too). I can't wait! Watch out world! Gladys will be stepping out in style, big toe and all!

A free music lesson.

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to meet a musical expert who has come down all the way from San Jose (oh that rhymes! I love it when that happens) and she very kindly shared her musical knowledge with me, so that I may in turn, share it with the kids in hospital.

Her name is Minnoli, and she has FIVE YEARS of experience on this planet, the last year of which she has devoted largely to a specialised system of training known as Kindergarten, where she has been fine-tuning these musical skills of her. Thanks to her tutoring, I now know the words AND actions of an intricate ballad that goes by the name, "Skinnamarink".

I think it's wonderful when the Universe conspires to bring these people into my life so that I may learn and grow. I shall be eternally grateful to Ms. Minnoli for this wonderful gift, and I have been skinnamarinking all over the place, ever since. I can't wait for Friday, so I can skinnamarink my way around St Phil's wards.

Aah, music.

Here is a picture of Ms. Minnoli, Skinnamarinker Par Excellence (that's French for "Extraordinaire") >

Post-script: Ms. Minnoli has very kindly had her secretary email over the lyrics, which are as follows:

Skinnamarink
Skinnamarink e-dink e-dink
Skinnamarink e-doo
I love you.
I love you in the morning
and in the afternoon.
I love you in the evening
underneath the moon.
Skinnamarink e-dink e-dink
Skinnamarink e-doo
I love you.
I do.

An incubation of clowns.

In today's workshop session, we focused on finding and developing clown characters. A lot of people think that being a clown is just putting on a red nose and doing funny things. That's not it at all. You don't "DO" clown. You BE it. And being a clown is all about being a clown in your heart. It's being a clown on the inside, not just on the outside. Anyone can dress up and go hoo-hah! but that's not a clown. I've seen some scary people standing outside Kids Kemp who look like clowns, but I'm pretty sure they're not.

So today, I explained this to the trainees, and helped them work on ways to find their clowns. Given them some homework too. Now they've gone home to incubate, and any day now, they will start hatching into little fledgling clowns. I can't wait to meet them! The trainees are all very nice people, and so I'm sure their clowns will be really nice too. I've got to wait, though, cos the next workshop session will only be around the end of the month.

Clean clowns.

This evening was the second session of the Training Workshop. It was all about hygiene and hospital protocol, and impressive-sounding words like "nosocomial" and "micro-organisms" and the like, were much used.

The trainees did yawn a bit here and there during this session. It's mostly discussion and lecture type stuff. But it's Very Important. Therapeutic clowns, especially those who, like us, go to hospitals, have to be very very particular about the hygiene rules for hospital work.

Well, I figure that if any of those trainees aren't really serious about joining Dr Clown, then after this Hygiene session, we probably won't see them again. So at least it would have served as a good yardstick! And if nothing else, they all know how and when to wash their hands very thoroughly.

My first workshop.

Today was most exciting, because I got to meet five people who might have clowns hidden inside them. This is the first time it's ME organising the Dr Clown workshop. I think it's very nicely done, but of course I'm biased.

It went well! Lots of clowny exercises, lectures, games, discussions, all sorts of things. Everyone got to have a nice cheesy lunch at the new French cafe at the Alliance Francaise, too.

The trainees liked it so much (the training I mean, although they might have enjoyed the lunch too) that they don't want to wait too long for the next session. So we're meeting them again in just a few days for Session #2.

I held a newborn baby today.

That is a very fine experience, let me tell you. Especially when he's screaming his head off cos he's just had a drip inserted in his arm, and then you talk to him and sing to him, and he stops crying.

Yes, I was back at St Phil's today, clowning with my friend Brush-buddha. We had a lovely time, as always. There weren't many patients, just about seven kiddies in the wards. So we got to spend more time with each child. That was nice. But for me, the best part was when the nurses from Neo-Natal put this little preemie baby in my hands. He's not exactly newborn, to tell you the truth. He's a whole forty days old baby! Today was his fortieth birthday, I suppose.

No rest for the wicked.

Or for me. You'd think, after all that excitement and work with the Clown Show, that I would have a break. But no. Now there's a Training Workshop to get ready for. You see, we're suffering from clown shortage here in Bangalore. Mamu left us in January, and now some of the French clowns have finished with their time in Bangalore and are heading back to France. Meanwhile, most of the trainees from earlier workshops have turned out to be more like magicians than clowns - they've just plum vanished into thin air! I do wish they'd left their noses behind, though. We could use a few extra noses for people who really want to be clowns.

Never mind. There's a new batch waiting to start with the workshop on April 4th, and I have lots of work lined up, preparing for all the sessions, researching and trying out ideas for exercises.

The Case of the Kidnapped Chicken.

Alas. There was one dark cloud over that strobey, multicoloured evening. My chicken went astray. He was a lovely lad, made of rubber. He was a gift that came to me all the way from San Francisco. He even had a certificate, certifying that he had been approved by the U.S. Department of Fowl Play. He had a hole at each end, and I had hoped to take him with me to hospital, when I go to visit my patients - to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and de-worming procedures. Sadly, it was not to be. Miss Rose thought it would be nice for him to make his debut at our Clown Show. Against my better judgment, I brought him along. That was the last time I saw him.

He was last seen in the hands of a little boy from the audience, who stuffed him happily into his bag, and took him home after the show. I don't know where he is now. I hope he's being treated well.

I put up signs all over the Alliance Francaise - "Lost! One Rubber Chicken. Please return to Gladys the Clown." But the world is a cruel place. And so they looked at my sign and they laughed.

Today I am a sad clown. A sad, chickenless clown.

And that's all, folks!

It got over all too soon, but not before we had our Grand Finale, stepping out to the Bee Gee's Staying Alive. Oh, it was quite an evening. Can't wait for next year!

We got boys too.

Well, just the one. Here he is, Brush-buddha, performing a wonderful rendition of 'Mummy Cool', just before Arun, our disco dancer, chased him offstage, and then HE in turn, did a very hot and sizzling version of Boney M's Daddy Cool!

A sweet surprise for Bobo.

Of course, no decent clown show goes without the old pie-in-the-face! Well, in our case it was a cake, specially baked for the occasion.

Bobo deserved a prize for winning at Musical Chairs, so we, erm, GAVE IT TO HER!

Dancing queens!

This was my favourite part of the show, when all us girl clowns found us some princesses in the audience, crowned them, and got them to dance with us! Remember I told you how I waltzed with the little princess in my arms? That's her in the orange pants!

That's not all we found.

We also found some disco dancers all the way from Bollywood! Here they are dancing to that Mithun Chakraborty classic, "I Am A Disco Dancer".

The clown hunt continued ..

and we found three more clowns! Bobo, Crazy, and Bindaas.

The banana worked!

The banana worked, yes it did! First we found Babydoll. And then, to our surprise, we found a famous French pop star, Clod Francois, lurking in the audience. He was hiding in plainsclothes, but once we got him dressed up, there was no mistaking him. So Rose, Babydoll and I decided it would be nice if we all danced together with him, and we did, to a lovely song called Alexandrie, Alexandra!

Divining for clowns.

After the introduction was over, Miss Rose and I got started with our story, which was all about how Dr Clown started with Rose and then me, and how we found all the other clowns and became the biggest and best clown troupe in India! (Well, to be honest, we're the ONLY clown troupe, so maybe that's why we're #1?)

Here you can see us searching for a new clown, using the ancient art of divination. Normally, you use a stick to divine for water. But we didn't have a stick, so we used a plastic banana instead.

The introduction.

After the Sounds Check, we had a Grand Entry of all the clowns, one by one, to one of my favourite songs, "Grease Is The Word". I've never been too sure why it's the word, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I can't know EVERYthing.

After our first dance, Crazy and Miss Rose had a chat with the crowd (well, Crazy chatted - and Miss Rose mimed) and Crazy told them all about Marcel Marceau, whose birthday it would have been on March 22nd, which is the reason why we decided to have a party for him the night before. Marcel Marceau was a great French mime, who died last year. I remember that day, because I came to the Alliance Francaise, and found that all the French clowns were dressed in black, and I found out that he had passed on.

At the show, one little boy asked me if he could get Marcel Marceau's autograph. I had to explain to him why this would be a bit difficult. He took it well, though, and a few moments later, came back and asked me for my autograph, as he could see I was very much alive. That's the first autograph I've ever given in my life! Whee!

The Sounds Check

The show started with me and Bindaas giving the audience a Sounds Check, to make sure they knew how to properly make appropriate sounds of appreciation. They were a good audience and learned fast.

I'm glad I didn't wear those red bell-bottoms, because it was Really Hot up there on stage.