I am a clown geek!

Yes. I am a computer wizard. I would rather be a real wizard but I haven't received my Hogwarts letter yet. I don't know what's keeping that owl. Fortunately I'm still seven years old and expect to be seven for a few more hundred years at least. So I won't be the oldest kid in the class when I finally do get there.

Oh, that reminds me! This post is about something else. I forgot! I got distracted by Hogwarts. Today I made a new e-group! It's for people who want to know what's happening at Dr Clown, where I work. So whenever we clowns have a show or a workshop, I can post the information there, and everyone who's on the group will get the news. I'm so efficient! AND I even added a special box here on the blog, so that anyone who wants to join that group can just sign up ever so easily. I'm feeling very clever because I had to cut and paste html code to do it. One day maybe I'll be an even better geek and write my own html code. But probably not, because I'm too busy being a clown.

I also made a new email address, specially for Dr Clown. It's called drclown@ymail.cm. But I keep forgetting to use it.

Please join my group! It's at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/clowNews. You can click on this, or you can click on the posh box on the left side of this screen. That's more fun, I think. Do that.

NEWS: The Healing Clown - The Hindu

Here's something from The Hindu newspaper's children's supplement, Young World.




By the way, we don't actually pick up the children in our arms because we're not supposed to do that. Also, the children never expect us, we're always a surprise! That's my favourite part. Except sometimes, we're more of a shock than a surprise .. once in a while a little toddler gets a bit scared when they first see us. But those are the ones who usually end up following us all around the wards.

Dipping my toe into the ocean of high fashion.

Yes, today my big toe, accompanied by force of habit by the other nine, stepped into the world of high fashion. Of course I already have many lovely clothes, but they're all ready-made, and tend to be thick and cosy. I think it would be hard to leap about skinnamarinking in them.

You see, summer is upon us, and quite heavily. So I decided to consult a young princess of luxury fashion, to find out which types of fabric are best for clowns, and how best to use them, and also how many metres I would need to buy (because apparently in the fabric shops, they always recommend more than you need).

Tomorrow I'm off to Commercial Street, and we are going to spend the morning looking at lovely fabric (hopefully not just looking, but buying too). I can't wait! Watch out world! Gladys will be stepping out in style, big toe and all!

A free music lesson.

Yesterday I was fortunate enough to meet a musical expert who has come down all the way from San Jose (oh that rhymes! I love it when that happens) and she very kindly shared her musical knowledge with me, so that I may in turn, share it with the kids in hospital.

Her name is Minnoli, and she has FIVE YEARS of experience on this planet, the last year of which she has devoted largely to a specialised system of training known as Kindergarten, where she has been fine-tuning these musical skills of her. Thanks to her tutoring, I now know the words AND actions of an intricate ballad that goes by the name, "Skinnamarink".

I think it's wonderful when the Universe conspires to bring these people into my life so that I may learn and grow. I shall be eternally grateful to Ms. Minnoli for this wonderful gift, and I have been skinnamarinking all over the place, ever since. I can't wait for Friday, so I can skinnamarink my way around St Phil's wards.

Aah, music.

Here is a picture of Ms. Minnoli, Skinnamarinker Par Excellence (that's French for "Extraordinaire") >

Post-script: Ms. Minnoli has very kindly had her secretary email over the lyrics, which are as follows:

Skinnamarink
Skinnamarink e-dink e-dink
Skinnamarink e-doo
I love you.
I love you in the morning
and in the afternoon.
I love you in the evening
underneath the moon.
Skinnamarink e-dink e-dink
Skinnamarink e-doo
I love you.
I do.

An incubation of clowns.

In today's workshop session, we focused on finding and developing clown characters. A lot of people think that being a clown is just putting on a red nose and doing funny things. That's not it at all. You don't "DO" clown. You BE it. And being a clown is all about being a clown in your heart. It's being a clown on the inside, not just on the outside. Anyone can dress up and go hoo-hah! but that's not a clown. I've seen some scary people standing outside Kids Kemp who look like clowns, but I'm pretty sure they're not.

So today, I explained this to the trainees, and helped them work on ways to find their clowns. Given them some homework too. Now they've gone home to incubate, and any day now, they will start hatching into little fledgling clowns. I can't wait to meet them! The trainees are all very nice people, and so I'm sure their clowns will be really nice too. I've got to wait, though, cos the next workshop session will only be around the end of the month.

Clean clowns.

This evening was the second session of the Training Workshop. It was all about hygiene and hospital protocol, and impressive-sounding words like "nosocomial" and "micro-organisms" and the like, were much used.

The trainees did yawn a bit here and there during this session. It's mostly discussion and lecture type stuff. But it's Very Important. Therapeutic clowns, especially those who, like us, go to hospitals, have to be very very particular about the hygiene rules for hospital work.

Well, I figure that if any of those trainees aren't really serious about joining Dr Clown, then after this Hygiene session, we probably won't see them again. So at least it would have served as a good yardstick! And if nothing else, they all know how and when to wash their hands very thoroughly.

My first workshop.

Today was most exciting, because I got to meet five people who might have clowns hidden inside them. This is the first time it's ME organising the Dr Clown workshop. I think it's very nicely done, but of course I'm biased.

It went well! Lots of clowny exercises, lectures, games, discussions, all sorts of things. Everyone got to have a nice cheesy lunch at the new French cafe at the Alliance Francaise, too.

The trainees liked it so much (the training I mean, although they might have enjoyed the lunch too) that they don't want to wait too long for the next session. So we're meeting them again in just a few days for Session #2.

I held a newborn baby today.

That is a very fine experience, let me tell you. Especially when he's screaming his head off cos he's just had a drip inserted in his arm, and then you talk to him and sing to him, and he stops crying.

Yes, I was back at St Phil's today, clowning with my friend Brush-buddha. We had a lovely time, as always. There weren't many patients, just about seven kiddies in the wards. So we got to spend more time with each child. That was nice. But for me, the best part was when the nurses from Neo-Natal put this little preemie baby in my hands. He's not exactly newborn, to tell you the truth. He's a whole forty days old baby! Today was his fortieth birthday, I suppose.

No rest for the wicked.

Or for me. You'd think, after all that excitement and work with the Clown Show, that I would have a break. But no. Now there's a Training Workshop to get ready for. You see, we're suffering from clown shortage here in Bangalore. Mamu left us in January, and now some of the French clowns have finished with their time in Bangalore and are heading back to France. Meanwhile, most of the trainees from earlier workshops have turned out to be more like magicians than clowns - they've just plum vanished into thin air! I do wish they'd left their noses behind, though. We could use a few extra noses for people who really want to be clowns.

Never mind. There's a new batch waiting to start with the workshop on April 4th, and I have lots of work lined up, preparing for all the sessions, researching and trying out ideas for exercises.

The Case of the Kidnapped Chicken.

Alas. There was one dark cloud over that strobey, multicoloured evening. My chicken went astray. He was a lovely lad, made of rubber. He was a gift that came to me all the way from San Francisco. He even had a certificate, certifying that he had been approved by the U.S. Department of Fowl Play. He had a hole at each end, and I had hoped to take him with me to hospital, when I go to visit my patients - to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and de-worming procedures. Sadly, it was not to be. Miss Rose thought it would be nice for him to make his debut at our Clown Show. Against my better judgment, I brought him along. That was the last time I saw him.

He was last seen in the hands of a little boy from the audience, who stuffed him happily into his bag, and took him home after the show. I don't know where he is now. I hope he's being treated well.

I put up signs all over the Alliance Francaise - "Lost! One Rubber Chicken. Please return to Gladys the Clown." But the world is a cruel place. And so they looked at my sign and they laughed.

Today I am a sad clown. A sad, chickenless clown.

And that's all, folks!

It got over all too soon, but not before we had our Grand Finale, stepping out to the Bee Gee's Staying Alive. Oh, it was quite an evening. Can't wait for next year!

We got boys too.

Well, just the one. Here he is, Brush-buddha, performing a wonderful rendition of 'Mummy Cool', just before Arun, our disco dancer, chased him offstage, and then HE in turn, did a very hot and sizzling version of Boney M's Daddy Cool!

A sweet surprise for Bobo.

Of course, no decent clown show goes without the old pie-in-the-face! Well, in our case it was a cake, specially baked for the occasion.

Bobo deserved a prize for winning at Musical Chairs, so we, erm, GAVE IT TO HER!

Dancing queens!

This was my favourite part of the show, when all us girl clowns found us some princesses in the audience, crowned them, and got them to dance with us! Remember I told you how I waltzed with the little princess in my arms? That's her in the orange pants!

That's not all we found.

We also found some disco dancers all the way from Bollywood! Here they are dancing to that Mithun Chakraborty classic, "I Am A Disco Dancer".

The clown hunt continued ..

and we found three more clowns! Bobo, Crazy, and Bindaas.

The banana worked!

The banana worked, yes it did! First we found Babydoll. And then, to our surprise, we found a famous French pop star, Clod Francois, lurking in the audience. He was hiding in plainsclothes, but once we got him dressed up, there was no mistaking him. So Rose, Babydoll and I decided it would be nice if we all danced together with him, and we did, to a lovely song called Alexandrie, Alexandra!

Divining for clowns.

After the introduction was over, Miss Rose and I got started with our story, which was all about how Dr Clown started with Rose and then me, and how we found all the other clowns and became the biggest and best clown troupe in India! (Well, to be honest, we're the ONLY clown troupe, so maybe that's why we're #1?)

Here you can see us searching for a new clown, using the ancient art of divination. Normally, you use a stick to divine for water. But we didn't have a stick, so we used a plastic banana instead.

The introduction.

After the Sounds Check, we had a Grand Entry of all the clowns, one by one, to one of my favourite songs, "Grease Is The Word". I've never been too sure why it's the word, but I suppose it doesn't matter. I can't know EVERYthing.

After our first dance, Crazy and Miss Rose had a chat with the crowd (well, Crazy chatted - and Miss Rose mimed) and Crazy told them all about Marcel Marceau, whose birthday it would have been on March 22nd, which is the reason why we decided to have a party for him the night before. Marcel Marceau was a great French mime, who died last year. I remember that day, because I came to the Alliance Francaise, and found that all the French clowns were dressed in black, and I found out that he had passed on.

At the show, one little boy asked me if he could get Marcel Marceau's autograph. I had to explain to him why this would be a bit difficult. He took it well, though, and a few moments later, came back and asked me for my autograph, as he could see I was very much alive. That's the first autograph I've ever given in my life! Whee!

The Sounds Check

The show started with me and Bindaas giving the audience a Sounds Check, to make sure they knew how to properly make appropriate sounds of appreciation. They were a good audience and learned fast.

I'm glad I didn't wear those red bell-bottoms, because it was Really Hot up there on stage.